Don Imus and his brother Fred both claim to have had parents, a mother and a father. I have never seen them. Have you? Parental absence coupled to the Imus brothers’ pathological behavior fetishes, have led to a thesis that both spawned spontaneously in dust clots accumulated behind the laundromat dryers where Don would spend many of his formative years.

As nearly as the date can be fixed, Don’s birth – however it occurred – took place in the late 18-hundreds making him a contemporary of such noted Americans as Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, Chester A. Arthur and Grover Cleveland…all U.S. Presidents.

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